Listen to Angie’s story hear:
(pun intended! ?)

When I was 27, I was going through a difficult life transition. I was looking for a place where I could rest my mind and heal my body. Ten years prior, at 17, I had a cliff jumping accident that compacted by lower spine. Ten years later, I couldn’t touch my toes. I couldn’t balance for more than 30 seconds on one foot. I couldn’t sit for long periods of time without my entire body feeling pain.

My healing involves 10 years of scoliosis, trauma, and alcohol addiction. I am honest about my journey because this kind of honesty saves lives.

I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was 11 years old. I was lucky to receive the best treatment Western medicine had to offer.  Unfortunately “best treatment” is based on the belief that nothing can be done for scoliosis. The only strategy was trying to prevent the curvature of the spine from getting worse structurally and doing physical therapy to support muscles during this process. 

The doctors braced me at the age of 13.  I was to wear the suffocating brace 18 hours a day. I often removed it to take a breather as it was difficult to fill your lungs while wearing the thing. I wore the brace for almost three years until I was (supposedly) finished growing.  Around this time, I discovered alcohol.  With a genetic predisposition and a trauma history begging for attention, I began my love affair with the poisonous substance. 

Between the ages of 16 and 25, I floundered in my alcohol addiction, desperately wishing to stop but not seeing any light on the other side. Divine intervention occurred in 2014, when my mental health counselor convinced me to do a yoga teacher training. This was a 30 day immersion. We practiced hours and hours of asanas, and then spent  remaining hours in philosophical exploration. I was in heaven with expansive discussion with people who believed, as I did, that there is so much more to life than meets the eye. 

My most valuable lesson from my asana practice? It’s okay to be uncomfortable.  When I was in the hell of my emotional upheavals, I had teachers, friends and ancient scripture to guide me along my healing journey to help me find ease in the discomfort.  Most importantly, yoga softened my heart. Many layers of defensiveness kept me from loving others authentically and from knowing myself. Through my yoga practice, I embraced, for the first time since I was  a child, self love and self forgiveness. 

I am now working with my scoliosis on a physical plane as well as an emotional and spiritual plane. Specific asanas help to level out the twisting and lateral curvature of my spine; building core strength helps ease the overuse of smaller muscles; and my meditation/expressive therapies practice helps with the emotional aspects of defensiveness. I am celebrating 7 months alcohol free and 27 years alive on this planet! Finally, I can say…SLOW THIS TRAIN DOWN! And actually, with a little pranayama, we can

The comparison photo of my spine shows the difference between my spine before yoga and after.  Before yoga was taken March 2011, and after yoga March 2016.

Another photo is me in the hip-opener pose, a super emotional asana.  As a trauma survivor, I feel like so much work can be done for PTSD in these spaces. It is important for people to have a safe space and someone who can be there to talk them through and simply be present through emotional release.   

My other photo, “crow in the snow” reminds me that sometimes, you do have to stop telling yourself the same story over and over.  As Ram Dass reminds us, “Everything changes once we identify with being the witness to the story, instead of the actor in it.” So, I’m the badass doing Kakasana in the snow because, that day, it was time to get out of bed and live in the moment!

On my worst day, yoga was the only thing I thought I was still capable of. My mind wasnt functioning but my body still moved. I walked into a little Hot Yoga studio in Rocky Point, found the darkest corner, and unrolled my old friend. The “Jade” label was worn, peeling up on the edges from age and lack of use.
My stiff muscles quickly remember the poses, the 105 degrees kept my tears hidden in my sweat. I realized that day yoga would be how I would rebuild myself, the first block in my new foundation. Matt McCambridge welcomed me with a simple smile and allowed me to fumble at my own pace. His studio felt safe, his practice began to wake me up.
Coco Teodoro was the name on the schedule for Thursday nights with the words “Advanced” right next to it. Each week I would look at the schedule with a mix of fear and motivation. After about two months, my Thursday night came.
I always say I don’t know if it was sweat, snot, or vomit that I left covered in that night. The next morning when I woke up unable to move a muscle, I couldn’t wait for next Thursday night to practice again.

Shortly after that the studio closed. I was panicked when I asked Coco where to practice, even more panicked at his response, “Practice? Come teach for me.”
A few weeks later, some teacher training, and there I was. Standing in a brand new studio, huge space, tall ceilings, and Mind Body apps I couldn’t use. And my first class wasn’t perfect, neither was my second or third. There was a full blown panic attack somewhere around the 10th…I began questioning myself again, a little darkness creeping in.
The next day, once again wondering what I was doing, where I was going, what had become of my life and my self-confidence, I went for a walk in my favorite set of trails. And there she was, Christine Cirolli, my little woodland fairy, walking over a hill like a scene from a movie. She was my first yogi, she was the studio where I practiced my first vinyasa, the home I disappeared from; where Kelly first corrected my chaturanga, where Tiffany taught me that unmatching socks and a loving sadistic laugh belong in a yoga studio.
“I’m teaching now, but I suck.” The first words out of my mouth.
“No you don’t, come teach for me.”
Again, another beautiful yogi who saw more in me than I was able to see in myself.

I teach 8 classes a week now with Gentle Strength Yoga. I still have so much to learn, but I don’t suck as much as I used to. ??
And I love it. I love seeing the “me’s” walk in. The ones that find the darkest corner, but slowly work their way up into the light. I love the tears that escape as we work through our shit. I love watching Souls grow. I love yoga and every deep beautiful breath it has taught me to take.
My most humble gratitude to Matt, Coco, Chris, Tiffany, and Kelly. Thank you for this beautiful day!

??? Light and Love to all!

Working with suffering refugees. Everybody deserves to care for their bodies and realize their true self. Yoga is so simple. It’s so simple. Even in the midst of complete disorganization, we spend time bonding, being healthy, and having fun.

I am working rescue 7 days a week, 12 hours from midnight to morning, then teaching free yoga classes during the day, Monday through Saturday. Boston and Greece strong!!!

I don’t get paid and I am working harder than ever in my life. I’m also teaching 100 refugee children school stuff, then on another day teaching adults at a Greek secondary school. Greece right now is a different planet. There is no clock here. It’s an extreme situation. Misery is everywhere. Desperate people wash up on shore and disperse, difficulties continue. But, yoga heals.

———

NY TIMES: March 20, 2016, article on refugee crisis with pictures of Constantine

Images: refugee crisis on Lesbos
http://bit.ly/1W80zFC
Information: US News reports on “The Growing Refugee Toll on Lesvos,” Jan. 27, 2016
http://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries/articles/2016-01-27/the-growing-refugee-toll-on-lesvos

I had 6 knee surgeries as a football player and was in total despair at the end of my career in 2009. After my 5th surgery and constant pain, I was in physical therapy for almost a year. Physical therapy seemed to be making matters worse, as the pain did not go away and was becoming unbearable! A friend, who was 6’5”, 310 lbs, told me to try yoga because it would heal my knee and make me healthy. I tried it. In just ONE class with the heat, I felt a significant difference in the scar tissue in my knee. I never stopped practicing, and yoga is a major part of my life to this day.

This past September on Lesvos, I started doing sea rescue for refugee boats. On the first day, I saw a boat about a quarter mile down the beach. I ran (barefoot) for the first time since 2009, when I was on the last football game of my career. I ran again to meet another boat that evening. The next day there were no repercussions or pain. Now, I am running over cliffs, rocks and mud. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger than ever. This never, ever, would have been possible without my consistent 7 years of practicing yoga in Boston. They did not give me a choice. They turned up the heat and encouraged me to keep practicing. Back then, I did not know if I would ever run again.

My hard work saved my legs. In the process, I lost almost 70 lbs and improved my all around mental and physical well being. I became a yoga teacher thinking I would have to do this yoga forever in order to counteract the extreme beating I put my body through until age 36.

Now I continue to heal. My vision from six years ago, to introduce yoga to Greece for healing and well being, is becoming a reality. I am working sea rescue, and teaching free yoga.

I am busy, tired, happy, and healthy; and I expect that to continue with my yoga practice and teaching!

My love to you and all fellow teachers, students, and yoga community!
———
Images: refugee crisis on Lesbos
http://bit.ly/1W80zFC
Information: US News reports on “The Growing Refugee Toll on Lesvos,” Jan. 27, 2016
http://www.usnews.com/news/best-countries/articles/2016-01-27/the-growing-refugee-toll-on-lesvos

I didn’t come to yoga because of any physical ailment, injury, or sickness. I wasn’t looking to be ‘healed’ as such, and I certainly didn’t have any interest in becoming flexible. What made me return to the studio again and again were the benefits I experienced for my mind. I guess my relationship with yoga can be summed up by a massive shift in my outlook and an infinitely healthier relationship with myself.

I found yoga, or maybe yoga found me, at a time in my life when I was a little bit lost. I found myself in front of that mirror. I saw myself and I allowed myself to be seen. I found compassion for myself and others. I became comfortable with discomfort. I am learning more and more about the meaning of unconditional love. All of this in front of that mirror. All of this through a series of 90 life-changing-minute classes.

And that is how yoga heals me. It gets me up close and personal with all of my stories, excuses, doubts, fears, problems – both real and imaginary- and it holds me accountable for them. Through the grit and grime of what was and is an oft-messy practice, I started to see myself and the world with unprecedented clarity. Every time I practice, I get to press the reset button and start again, afresh, anew.

This practice truly is a precious gift, just like the present it teaches me to savour.